Growing Pains

02/24/2013

If the past few months have been filled with total bliss and complete hell, you are not alone.  There seems to be a common through line since the new year among people’s experience that can be summarized by an INTENSE dichotomy of pleasure and pain.  In seems as though certain areas of their lives are taking off and filled with happiness, success and prosperity beyond their wildest imagination.  Simultaneously, other areas have collapsed and are presenting great challenge met with continual frustration.  This seems to be a theme amongst clients and colleagues, as well as in many of the editorials that cross my path on a daily basis.  If this is you, know you are not alone.

What are we to make of this polarization?  This we will never know as there is much more at work here than meets the eye.  I refer to it as GROWING PAINS.  As we move further into living our dreams and stepping into our potential, we naturally become more aligned with spirit and connected to our true self.  The more aligned we become inside and out, the more that which is not serving is magnified.  Without the dark, we would not know light, and this serves as opportunity for further growth.  Embrace everything.  Resist nothing. 

Humans naturally resist change, but change is essential for expansion.  Progress and the attainment of goals usually comes with taking on new roles and responsibilities.  This means stepping into unchartered territory, going beyond our comfort levels, and taking risk!  There is a learning curve and growth period.  The never ending questions circle around our heads:  Can I do it?  Will I succeed?  Will I be enough?  Can I meet these expectations?  This is uncomfortable and means letting go of the past in order to clear space for the present and make room for the future. Change + Uncertainty = Exciting + Scary. 

In the Western world we are taught to create our identity and find self-worth via personal and professional roles, success, wealth, status, etc.  It makes perfect sense that as these areas shift (moving towards living our dreams), our identity shifts.  There is a grieving of the loss of the old while also attempting to cling to the past because it is familiar.  Simultaneously  desire springs us forward for greater happiness and fulfillment.  Love + Fear = Light + Dark.   

I compared this experience to that of the snake who molts his skin continually and at specific points in his life.  A snake’s skin does not grow or expand, and so as the snake grows he must shed the old layer and let go of the past which is keeping him small and confined.  This sloughing is achieved by hitting its head against a hard object such as a rock.  Pain and discomfort in order to experience freedom.  Shedding for expansion.  The pain/pleasure principle, destruction in order to reconstruct, present everywhere in mother nature.
Ironically, 2013 happens to be the year of the snake according to the Chinese calendar.  Ironic?  Perhaps.  The snake is deep and represents the sensual philosopher, grace, mysticism and darkness.  The snake is also seen as the little dragon, the luckiest sign in the zodiak.  It is time to shed the past, to let go of the burdens, and to live connected to and guided by our heart.  My advice?  Breathe.  We are all in this together.