It took the unexpected loss of my mother, massive depression, and the threat of suicide for me to finally learn how to open my heart…. starting by opening it to myself and something greater than all of us combined. I knew the only way out was to go within… To do the work, feel the pain, and to learn the path of self-love and experience of God.
My mom’s death sent me straight into the depths of my own hell. A dear in headlights, hiding under the covers & paralyzed by the snapshot of her existence, suddenly it became clear —
I was ANGRY. Angry at God, angry at my mom, angry at my family… FUCK THE WORLD! I lacked motivation & didn’t care about a thing. If life could vanish in the blink of an eye, then what was the point? It was all an illusion, and everyone and everything was a fraud!
I WAS ANGRY. But this time at myself, which was the most painful of all… Because things got deeper. Suddenly I realized…
I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, or what I believe in. I had accepted all of these roles, associations, societal norms, and familial beliefs as true and worked my ass off to become something rather than BE someone. I wasTRYING to live up to false standards of existence and unrealistic expectations for myself based on everything around me.
How could I live in such a state of self rejection and false state illusion?
Stubborn & Determined, I refused anti-depressants. I knew the only way out was to go with in. It was time take responsibility for EVERYTHING in my life.
I set off to India in search of myself and the tools to find a deeper purpose to life, desperate for a glimpse of meaning and a taste of my soul. Thankfully, Spirit supported me by bringing forward the teachers to guide me in the right direction, and my higher self trained me with self-discipline to walk the path… This path led directly to Mantra Meditation.
It took dedication, but I committed to the pillow, and put the tool to work… clinging… seeking… and then finally, one day, it arrived.
RELIEF. HOPE. BELIEF.
I will never forget that day…. the warm gooey-ness overtook my body as a deep sense of inner peace spread thru every cell of my being. The glow of “The Light” radiated – that feeling of connectedness both within and “without.” I was experiencing God… I was experiencing my myself, humanity, and the interconnectedness of all beings.
It was better than ANY orgasm… and yes, I had had fantastic sex… because I know that is what you are all thinking.
And then suddenly, a deep sense of knowingness — RELIEF FROM THE SUFFERING — I was going to be okay. Not only that, I WAS okay. I was LOVED and supported by something greater. This was love and support was different, it was unconditional and not hindering on me being “someone” or “something.” I felt trust and surrender on a level I had never experienced before.
Finally, I had found home.
For me, it is the daily practice of Mantra Meditation that creates this experience in my life. It helps me work with my mind in order to find meaning and purpose in my day to day life. It helps provide relief from the debilitating stress and anxiety of living in an overactive world. It lifts the pressure, and helps me keep perspective on life. And, perhaps one of the most amazing aspects, it helps me see how I am relating to myself and to others.
My deepest desire, is for you to find this too. My deepest desire is for you to feel peace and find home within yourself. My deepest desire is for you to feel happiness, BLISS, and unconditional love beyond your minds ability to conceive.
For all of these reasons and more, I will be sharing this powerful tool in a weekend workshop August 23rd & 24th. THis workshop will be streamed LIVE so anyone, anywhere in the world, can participate. It will also be recorded so you can watch it if you cannot be there for the entire session. IF this speaks to you, please visit here for more details…
WHAT: MANTRA MEDITATION WORKSHOP
WHEN: AUGUST 23rd 9 am – 12 pm
AUGUST 24th 2 – 5 pm
WHERE: LWISSD & STREAMED LIVE!!
**Advanced registration required**
If you feel drawn to find out more and feel you will benefit from this practice, please visit/register here..
Your mind is the most powerful tool you have. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy depending on how you choose to use it. Become the master of your thoughts, and you can become the master of your domain.
If you have any questions, I am always here! Thank you for reading my story as it is very close to my heart.
XOXO
Nyk!
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