08/16/2011
And of course happy birthday to my most precious niece Kahli who was also born on this day! But it all starting with Grandma Sue, aka, “The Sheriff,” and for those of you who were fortunate enough to know my mom, you will laugh at this nickname and understand it completely. My mom was filled with so much love it was almost unbelievable. It never ceases to amaze me how many lives she touched when she was here, how many kids she truly had (as she adopted everyone!), and how she made an impression on everyone she met. She wore many hats and juggled many plates, all while raising three kids on her own. On the outside, she made it all look so easy. She is the most dedicated person I have ever met, and she was an inspiration to all.
Let’s get back to that nickname– “The Sheriff.” Everyone has a different way of expressing their love, their tenderness, their care and concern. My mom’s strategy was what I would call “tough love.” She was the type of person that told you how it was without sugarcoating a thing, she was not the coddling type. She was always there to help care for your needs making sure you had a full belly, a place to lay your head, clean clothes, safety, guidance, etc. She always made sure the fridge and cupboards were full for us and for our friends, our door and couches were always open with blankets and pillows freshly waiting, and she was always there to listen and let you know exactly where you were “screwing up” (pointing her long manicured fingernail directly in your face).
I spent quite a bit of my life missing out on fully experiencing the beauty and tenderness of my mom’s love. I wanted it to “look” different. Somewhere in my mind, her expression of love “should” have been packaged in a different box, wrapped in a different style of paper, and tied with the big beautiful bright pink bow. I can see this now, and I see how wrong I was to put these demands on her. It was unfair to expect something from her that she was not able to give, and to not FULLY appreciate what she did have to offer and gave so easily and freely to many!
If there is anything I can share from all of my learning and growth in the loss of the most precious person in my life, it is this: Love and Appreciate everyone in your life for WHO they are and HOW they are able to show up. Eliminate expectations placed on another to be someone they are not or to do things that are not honoring who they are and what is right for them. Celebrate one another, reveling in the beauty of our individuality and uniqueness, highlighting who WE ARE rather than who we are NOT. And be grateful for every waking moment that can be shared, because these are precious times that will not always exist.
Today, my intention is for all my actions to align with “paying forward” and spreading of the love that my mom shared with everyone she came into contact with, as the love inside of me started from her origin…
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