Burnout is a chronic condition in our society. Typically it is accompanied by other emotions such as stress and anxiety, overwhelm, depression, and often self-sabotage behavior.
It makes sense because if you don’t have energy to keep going, your brain starts to create all kinds of stories and drama about what that means and worst possible outcomes.
It is not your fault, it is the nature of our society.
The good news is you can absolutely shift this entire experience and rewrite a new conversation in your brain.
You can do this by asking yourself one simple question. I made a video about it for you so you can understand how this manifested in my own life, how I turned it around, and how it often manifests with my spiritual coaching clients and 21 Cleansers.
Have a watch, and please leave a comment if it resonates for you.
I see far too many spiritual business woman running around with their heads cut off in a cycle of drama and overwhelm, dealing with exhaustion and burn out, and not making progress in their goals.
This often leads to more negative thinking and feelings of defeat, which them leads to further procrastination and a lower self-esteem.
I help them take a breath, step back and access what is really going on so they feel safe in their own skin and accomplish their goals.
It is a process, but if this cycle sounds familiar to you, you can start by asking yourself this one question –
“Do you have something to prove or are you living your purpose?”
When you have something to prove, then you push and push and push and keep going even though you are running on fumes. You have a hard time saying no, get stuck in people pleasing and put yourself and your goals on the back burner.
You have a strong need for approval or validation, and your emotional barometer is constantly fluctuating based on the amount of attention you are getting or “success” you are creating based on external circumstances.
There is NEVER ENOUGH.
If you are living your purpose, you set clear and healthy boundaries and YOU HONOR THEM. You set goals and take positive action towards it. You take time away from being “on” so you can take care of yourself and let yourself relax and rejuvenate.
IT IS ALL ABOUT BEING TRUE TO YOU IN ALL YOU DO.
Let me help you understand by sharing a little story.
I grew up in a single parent family with no contact with my father. Our family was really hard up, we lived in low-income housing that was a SCARY situation.
I knew early on that if I wanted to make anything of my life, it was up to me. So I made it my priority to be the best and WIN… at everything. I also hustled and got side jobs and started making money from the age of seven.
Here is the good news – I learned self-reliance, a solid work ethic, and how to create success. Here’s the not so good news, I had a lot of unconscious shame and had a definite need to prove myself.
As a result, I was constantly seeking external validation and lost sight of how to play. My emotions were resting on what was or “was not” happening outside myself.
I had bought into the misbelief that I could earn my worthiness and that I have to work hard – and harder than anyone else – because that is what it takes and I was on my own.
This way of being got wired into my being, body, mind and spirit. As I got older, I continued to work, work, work, to push, push push, and to keep striving.
Sure I got a lot accomplished. Yes I did some amazing things – full ride to undergrad, graduating top ten people in my class Magna Cum Laude, living and traveling around the world on my own, living in Japan and learning Japanese, going to fashion school in New York City…
But I definitely had something to prove, and so the energy that was underneath my actions was not coming from a solid foundation that allows for sustainability.
There was always the next big thing on the horizon before the current thing was accomplished. I found myself in a chronic cycle of highs and lows that often resulted in a burnout and crash, followed by feelings of depression and defeat.
You never would have guessed, but underneath it all I was needing success and external validation to feel important, to feel valued, to feel worthy…
It was not until I looked at this pattern that I was able to understand what was really going on, and when I got clear that MY REAL PURPOSE IS TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, to do what is right for me from my heart and not my head/ego, to express myself and my gifts, and to follow my own unique truth, did everything start to shift.
I see this same pattern A LOT in my coaching practice with the women I work with – seeking, striving, pleasing – when really all they need is to feel safe in their skin and learn how to put themselves first.
I LOVE helping them take a divine pause, breath, and see what is really going on. We build their self-esteem, shift how they see the world, and help them connect to their truth so they live with inspiration and motivation and not perspiration and exasperation.
Not only that, but we re-write the story and their belief system, and help them change their choices so their actions take them in the direction of their own personal NEEDS and goals.
IT IS AWESOME.
Doesn’t that feel better already? Yeah, I think so too.
WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE YOUR PURPOSE
Living your purpose is about being true to yourself. It is about letting go of the need for external validation so you follow your heart do what is right for you.
When you do this, you set into motion a current in the world that actually gives others space to do the same.
You say “NO” when it is not in resonance for you so you take better care of yourself and make sure your cup is full.
And it is about knowing you are enough no matter what happens outside of yourself.
Asking yourself the simple question – “Am I doing this because I have something to prove, or because I am living my purpose and being true to myself?” will create monumental changes in your life for the better.
If you are struggling with burnout or regularly find yourself in cycles of highs and lows emotionally or energetically, I encourage you to take the step back and see what is really going on.
And if you need some help, you can CLICK HERE to apply for a exploratory coaching session. GOOD LUCK!!
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